Don't Mess With Spock
by toomanyfandoms1598
Summary: Kirk learns the hard way, that you don't mess with a vulcan. Especially one named Spock, who happens to be his First Officer.


**I'm bored. I'll get to my other stories. Patience. I need a break. Star Trek. _insert smiley face here_  
** **Disclaimer: Don't own Star Trek or any characters.**

Captain Kirk grinned evilly as he crept into the med bay closet. Bones gave him a wary glance, before decided to ignore it. Jim was glad. It would be hard to explain why he was currently grabbing bleach and a razor from the supply closet. While he was in the closet, his target walked into the med bay. He cursed and popped a hatch to the jeffrey tubes. He shoved his supplies in there and quickly shimmied down the shaft.

Using the tubes, he quickly arrived at his destination. He grabbed a bottle and added a bunch of bleach to it, before leaving everything just the way it was. His target entered the room next to him, and he went back into the tubes.

He waited patiently for his prey to fall asleep, before once again, jumping out of the tubes. He approached his victim and quickly did the deed, using his stolen razor. He made sure not to wake up the victim and was gone without even disturbing the target's sleep.

* * *

No one knew why Kirk had been giggling and looking around evilly and snickering all Alpha shift. The only thing Uhura knew was that he was up to something, and not everyone would like it. They found out halfway through Alpha shift when Spock walked onto the bridge. The captain burst out laughing, as did the rest of the bridge, Uhura included. Spock's hair had been bleached platinum blonde and his eyebrows had been shaved. Jim was rolling on the ground, tears streaming down his face as he howled. Sulu was hunched over, hands on his aching abdomen. Klingons chose that exact moment to attack the ship.

* * *

Spock had been having a nice night. He had ate dinner with Nyota and meditated before finally going to bed after having a relaxing rinse in the sonic shower. He woke up to do his morning duties when he walked past a mirror. His eyes widened comically. His hair was white and his eyebrows had disappeared. His nonexistent eyebrow rose and he shook his head. Something must have gotten in the water and caused this. He would have to talk to Dr. McCoy.

When Spock got to the bridge, he had been followed with dozens of giggling ensigns who had taken his picture with their Padds. He was thoroughly confused. No one else was affected with the water, so he assumed it had to only be targeted towards Vulcans. He didn't understand. He was met with laughter on the bridge too. Klingons then attacked the Enterprise.

* * *

Spock had snuck off to the shadows as the Klingons took the captain and the rest of the command crew captive. He would never normally do this, but something made him pause and wait. Just as the Klingons started threatening the command crew's lives, he jumped out of the shadows, drawing his phaser. The Klingons started at him with wide eyes, a few chuckling, giving him time to stun the aliens. He quickly holstered the phaser and untied the command crew.

Bones stormed out of the turbo lift as soon as it was operational again. He took one look at Spock and started howling in laughter. The doctor finally quieted down after a couple minutes.

"Doctor McCoy, I believe that something may have contaminated the water supply that only affects Vulcans." Bones just shook his head.

"No, I saw Jim sneak into the med bay storage closet and I found a gallon of bleach and a razor missing. He did it." Bones then dragged Kirk off to the sick bay, even though the captain had sustained no serious injuries during the attack. Spock glared at the backs of the retreating backs of the two men. Kirk would regret the day he ever crossed Spock.

* * *

"...And that, young Ensigns, is how I, Captain Kirk, became tied upside down, naked, in this observation deck. Now, can you please get Bones? And a pair of clothes for me? I don't want the men to feel inadequate." Kirk smiled, and all the ensigns there swooned. He groaned. Curse Spock to only allow female ensigns onto this observation deck today.

"BONES! SAVE ME!"


End file.
